She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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