I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
