He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
3 2 1 whiskey
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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