have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
