nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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