Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
