There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
