I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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