Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
