I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize