You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
