ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize