he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
