So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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