Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
