I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize