4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
