i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
