Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
