You made me cry and you don't even care
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize