We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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