cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
