hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
