girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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