The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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