I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
