wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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