no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My balls are so social today.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
