She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If I die, sorry about rent.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
