Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize