I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
