Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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