So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
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