You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
