to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
