She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
