so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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