I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
