We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
