i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
