Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
