would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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