the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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