You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
