she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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