My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
These tits shall not be calmed
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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