almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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