so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
