You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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