this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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