please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
