So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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