I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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