The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
