Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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