all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
