1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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