dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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