I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
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My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
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I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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