I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
